Community Guidelines v.3.0

March 2020

The community rules/guidelines apply to all online and in-person interactions that take place in the She Spends Facebook group, at a She Spends event or in conversation related to She Spends. If someone is unfamiliar with a rule/guideline, please direct them here.

This document will grow and evolve along with the She Spends community. Please reach out if you see a need to add or remove a rule/guideline. You can do that either on Facebook or via shespends@gmail.com.

Hard & Fast Community Rules

NO RACISM, SEXISM, XENOPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIA, FATPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA IN 👏 THIS 👏 HOUSE 👏 

• We trust you to know when to follow the call-in procedure (see guidelines) vs. when to call someone out. 

• Please do not engage if any hate speech pops up. Just report it to a She Spends rep and/or moderator.

No business promotions, either in public posts or direct message. 

• We’re working on developing ad space if you’re looking to reach the She Spends audience with your business. The Facebook group isn’t that space. 

• You get one warning if you promote your business using the group or She Spends as a platform without clearing it with She Spends. Strike two and we remove you. 

• Here’s the thing. There is a gray area between promoting your business and sharing your success. We’ll try to make it easier:

  • Celebrate don’t sell

  • Solicit conversation don’t solicit clicks

  • Respect don’t recruit

• This especially applies to Multi-Level Marketing recruitment. If another group member reports you for recruiting for an MLM, we will remove you from the group on strike one. Learn more about the She Spends stance on MLMs. 

• If you’re a journalist looking for sources, please do not make an individual post or comment on another person’s post soliciting those sources. You can put a source request in our Friday #shinetheory thread. When you do, please make it clear where you’re writing for and how the content will be used.

• If you’re a personal finance blogger or run a personal finance blog as a part of your business, please do not use this space as a platform to promote your product (in this case, content). If you’d like to share that content, please post it in the weekly #shinetheory thread. And, if you’d like to partner with She Spends, reach out via our contact form and we’ll see if you’re a good fit.
  

Community Guidelines

Our community guidelines are vital to making this space a safer one. If someone is straying away from one of these guidelines, point them in this direction to get ‘em back on track. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, let the moderators know and we’ll deal with the situation. What it boils down to: Be Open, Be Aware, Be Organized, Be Empathetic, Be Productive & Be Kind

💬 BE OPEN (Liberated Zone)

• This is the supportive space to say it, ask it, question it. 

• Speak from a place of “I” (don’t generalize your experiences to others) and own your ignorance - we’re all here to learn together. That being said, expect to be held accountable for your words. 

• Invite discussion. Think about how you’re phrasing your posts, and make sure it’s clear that you’re open to discussion.

• Additionally, even though this is a closed group, remember we're on Facebook and anything you share could be considered public. We're not going to tolerate weirdness like people screenshotting posts to start drama on other networks or pages. Unfortunately though, we can’t prevent this from happening, so please be aware! 

👀 BE AWARE (Step Up Step Down)

• We all have different experiences and it’s important to be aware of this when you’re speaking from a place of privilege re: gender, class, race or sexual orientation. Check yourself. 

• Are you monopolizing a conversation? Step down. Do you have something to share that could further the conversation? Please step up - we want to hear you!

• While we are called She Spends, please be aware of how you use gendered language. Not all of us are “shes!” 

🎯 BE ORGANIZED (Tag it!)

• Tag your posts with topics so they’re easier to find. This group is extremely active, and we’re trying to be a little less extremely unorganized.

• If you plan to post something, use the search bar to make sure it hasn’t been previously discussed.

😿 BE EMPATHETIC (Trigger Warnings & Ouch / Oops)

• When posting a potentially sensitive topic that might cause another group member pain if they just stumble upon it, please use “TW: [Topic]” at the top of your post, then use a few hyphens to place it under a “read more.” 

• If someone doesn’t use a trigger warning and the post makes you uncomfortable in a way that doesn’t feel right, post “Ouch” under the topic with a link to this page. The poster should respond “Oops!” and edit the post to be under a trigger warning. 

• If someone posts “Ouch” on one of your posts, after updating the content as explained above, we encourage you to reach out to them and talk through the situation in a direct message. Take it offline, ok? Publicly threaded discussions can become performative instead of productive, and this is a situation that belongs in a more personal setting. You’ve hurt someone, and it’s time to apologize and learn from the mistake - but we don’t all have to see it. 

• If the moderators see a post that needs a trigger warning and doesn’t have it, we will ask the poster to add a trigger warning.

• Topics that require TW: 

  • weight loss/body confidence issues

  • sexual assault, rape and harassment

  • any type of violence or abuse (not just physical)

  • Depression, suicide, mental health issues

  • drug/alcohol use

  • any time slurs are used

  • DM moderators or email shespends@gmail.com to add to this list

🙏 BE PRODUCTIVE (Call In > Call Out)

• Some level setting… 

  • Calling Out: publicly & forcefully pointing out that someone is being oppressive in order to get that oppressive person to stop their offensive behavior. Shame is key here. 

  • Calling In: kindly, patiently and compassionately pointing out that someone is being oppressive in order to get that oppressive person to stop their offensive behavior. Education is key here. 

• When calling someone in…

  • We would like to avoid call-outs. Let’s all operate from the assumption that we’re all good people here to be better people and act accordingly. 

  • Check if you have the emotional capacity right now to have this conversation. If you don’t, consider filling in this anonymous Google form to let the moderators know. They’ll have the conversation in your place.

  • Don’t label. Explain kindly. Avoid ‘othering’ the person.

• When being called in…

  • We would like to avoid defensive responses to call-ins. Let’s all operate from the assumption that the person calling you in is trying to have a conversation, not make you look bad. 

  • Keep it cool! Be open to what this person is saying. 

  • Avoid shutting the conversation down without hearing the person out. 

  • Adjust your behavior moving forward accordingly.

• Expect to call in and expect to be called in. We know it’s hard to have an online conversation like this. But we’re here to learn from and uplift each other, so these conversations will happen! 

  • If things start getting heated, we encourage you to take the conversation to a DM to get to a more productive, less performative, space. 

• Resources:

  • Learn more about call-ins 

  • Anonymous call-in form for another group member or She Spends content. This should be a last resort! We encourage you to direct message the offending party even if it makes you a little uncomfortable. This form is for if you are legitimately emotionally unable to conduct a call in. 

💕 BE KIND (R-E-S-P-E-C-T)

• The Golden Rule and all that. Money is touchy and we all have different backgrounds, experiences and attitudes about it. Respect that and convey your point with the other person’s perspective in mind. We’re all here to learn together and from each other!2 

  
  

1. #shinetheory theory developed by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow*

2. We referenced and were inspired by New Women Space’s community guidelines and Fordham University’s Women’s Empowerment’s community guidelines. For more information, reach out to Jemma Frost.
   
   *editor’s note: a previous version of this page erroneously did not include Aminatou Sow as one of Shine Theory’s creators. We regret the error.